


Be My Light

by Soldier_girl00



Category: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:48:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 9,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28879725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soldier_girl00/pseuds/Soldier_girl00
Summary: LightningxFang AU trigger warning- themes of suicide, alcohol abuse, sexual content ect.Lightning is lost. The war within her has been raging so long it's all but consumed her and this darkness has begun to feel more like a shelter. Does this stranger, this flicker of light, have what it takes to show her the way? Does she even want to be saved?
Relationships: Lightning/Oerba Yun Fang
Comments: 7
Kudos: 5





	1. Prologue

The afternoon sun was low as she padded up to the boundary of the all but abandoned car park. Serah had brought her here once to show her the view and help clear her head. Lightning was greatful for that because after that day she had visited the place with Serah and on her own many times. Daily, at this point. Five levels, just high enough. The place was closed off for the most part, rusted chains and weathered boards decorated the structure in an effort to keep people away. Lightning knew better. Knew the route that would lead her to a secluded stairwell at the buildings rear. Where in all her visits she had never come across another soul, it made the place feel fractured off from the rest of reality. Her home away from home.

Lightning inhaled deeply, feeling her lungs fill and expand before letting the air go in a long whooshing exhale. She gave herself a small nod and thrust herself forward from the ball of her foot. The gap between her and the building closed swiftly and within moments she was rounding its corner, feet thudding over concrete and earth alike. By the time she reached the rear of the car park she could hear the blood rushing in her ears. Over the crumbling wall she leapt, one, two, three strides up a rocky incline. A quick duck beneath the broken chain link fence and then she placed her first foot fall onto the haggard concrete stairs. The soles of her shoes scraped the loose grit from the steps surface as she ran higher, taking two at a time as she ignored the decayed handrail. When Lightning started on the last set her lungs were burning and her legs were beginning to cramp, but she ignored the nuisances knowing her goal was within sight. As she broke from the stairwells high walls onto the car parks flat surface she could see the familiar tree tops across the lot. She ran free, not slowing her pace. Past the concrete pillars that marked various sections, past the long broken down parking meters. _Thud_ , the sound echoed as her feet hit the ground over and over. _Thud_ , the wind ripped over her skin in a cooling wave. _Thud_ , her eyes stung with tears that she refused to let fall. _Thud_ , she was nearing the end now, the broken space in the railings was almost within reach. Lightning closed her eyes and mounted the lots edge in one sure bound.

And there she froze, like always. Like the concrete gripped her feet. Her lungs gulped in air, fighting to live. Lightning scoffed to herself, even her body was against her. She teetered on the edge, arms stretched to her sides waiting for the wind to push her or her head to go dizzy, but it was no use. Every day was the same. She sighed in irritation and relaxed her limbs.


	2. Quagmire

The pinkette headed straight for her room when she got home despite the grumbled protest from her stomach. She would have liked to reason her mind was getting revenge for her body refusing to listen during her daily ritual. But truthfully she was just too tired to care. She flopped onto her bed and stared at the shadows on her ceiling. Cast there by the leaves outside her window as the evening wind bobbed them up and down, becoming fainter by the growing lack of daylight. She'd failed again. Lightning turned to face the wall, pulling her knees to her chest and the hood of her jacket over her head.

"You okay, Sis?" Serah's soft voice came from the open doorway behind her.

_No_.

"Just really tired" Lightning mumbled not bothering to open her eyes. Her chest hurt. She couldn’t pollute her sister with this darkness. What would Serah think of her? Would she blame herself if she knew? She didn’t deserve that kind of disappointment.

"You should eat something"

"I will in the morning, okay?" Lightning assured.

"As long as you do" her sister replied sternly.

"Serah” Lightning called suddenly as she felt Serah retreating. “can you stay awhile?" The pinkette asked sleepily. _I just want you to be here_ , Lightning thought numbly. Even if she couldn’t share her pain, having Serah’s presence near felt a little less lonely.

"Sure, Light"

* * *

Vanille giggled to herself when she entered the room and her eyes settled on the sleeping form of her sister. The brunette had managed to tangle herself up in her sheets to the point of near strangulation. A leg and arm jutted out from the mess at a strange angle and dark hair flowed in all directions. Soft snores escaped a half opened mouth and Vanille smiled fondly, secretly wishing she had her phone to capture the moment and of course for a little blackmail when the time called for it.

"Wakey wakey Fang!" The red head shouted.

Fang groaned in protest and turned away.

"humph!" Vanille pouted. "Fine, have it your way" she promptly gripped the covers and with a strength that was deceiving for her small frame, pulled. She squeaked in surprise as the force brought her sibling tumbling from the bed instead of separating her from her prison.

"Sorry!" Vanille panicked waving her hands trying to figure out which section of the wreckage to start on.

"Uggh" Fang complained pushing herself up to a sitting position and rubbed the back of her head. "You're really not messin' around today are you?”

"Well the early chocobo gets the worm, right?" Vanille grinned apologetically.

"Chocobos don't even eat worms" Fang grumbled with a frown.

"True" the younger girl shrugged. "But anyway it's time to get dressed, you have a big day" she smiled. "Come on, I'll make you breakfast"


	3. The string

Fang sighed with irritation and shrugged the blazer off her shoulders, shoving it hastily into her backpack.

"Pricks" she cursed as she ran a hand through her hair to mess it back up to the way she liked it, trying to calm her nerves. She felt restricted and fake. She spat with disgust as the image of her interviewers flashed through her mind. Their smug expressions that said more than their lying words ever could. Her rage was building and she could feel her mind begin to cloud but at the last moment something caught her eye.

Her head whipped around to see the woman with pink hair walking along the street on the opposite side of the road. Her hands were jammed into her pockets and her eyes glared forward in determination. Fang had seen her several times before, always on the same street headed in the same direction. And always with that glaring expression that reminded Fang she wasn’t the only one that had a bone to pick with the world. The brunette swallowed, her anger evaporating as it gave way to curiosity. Maybe it was her sense of adventure or just her inquisitive nature and the fact she wasn't ready to face her sister with yet another unsuccessful interview, but something pulled her towards the pinkette right now. She felt propelled like some invisible rope was dragging her in the wake of this enigmatic stranger.

Fang kept her distance as they made their way to the quieter part of town where traffic and buildings gave way to nature and eventually the shells of structures long forgotten. The distance between them gave Fang plenty of time to stop and hide as the woman paused in front of one such architectural mishaps. While the pinkette was lost in thought Fang gave her a quick once over, noticing for the first time that the person she was tailing seemed about the same age as her, maybe a bit younger. A little shorter and obviously quite fit given the pace she had set on their route. _Pretty too_ , Fang grinned to herself.

Without warning the woman shot off towards the parking lots perimeter and Fang found herself sprinting to keep up, this enigma sure was fast. Fang followed her over terrain and structural obstacles trying her best to match the strangers rhythm and stay hidden as she did. The brunette was no stranger to physical activity but this sure was a workout. As they mounted the last of the steps and teared across the lots top floor Fang was hit with the terrifying realisation of what was happening. Her stomach clenched painfully as a shiver ran down her spine. She quickened her momentum in an effort to close the gap but it was too vast and the pinkette just too swift. As the girl mounted the lots boarder Fang stopped dead and every second stretched out painfully. She tried to reach out in vein, to far away to make any difference. She tried to call out but her voice was silent, lost in the air between them. Then suddenly everything came crashing down, the woman stood on the edge, unmoving and her shoulders hunched over in defeat.

_She's...not going to jump?_ Fang’s system was alive with adrenalin and she jerked herself behind a nearby concrete pillar to hide herself as the pinkette turned and climbed down from her perch. Sweat tickled its way down the back of Fang’s neck while she pressed herself against the rough pillar as the woman walked back the way they had come.


	4. Sisters keeper

* * *

As Lightning closed the front door behind her and headed for her room she was met by the form of her sister sitting at the top of the stairs waiting for her.

"You're home late" the younger girl tilted her head to the side with a soft smile. Her tone more curious than annoyed.

"Yea" Lightning replied awkwardly, unsure how to respond.

"Have you eaten?" Serah questioned her.

"Not yet" Lightning confessed. “Actually I was just going to go to bed and-"

"Uh oh. No you don't, Light!" Serah raised her voice. "You're doing this more and more" she stood stiffly. "You need to march right back down those stairs and eat something".

With the added height of the stairs and her annoyed look Lightning was surprised how motherly she looked and how affective her scolding was.

"Sorry" was all the pinkette could manage before turning and trudging back down the stairs.

* * *

As soon as Fang entered her home she could smell the strong scent of spices and charred meat. Her mouth began to water before she could even get her shoes off and she realised how hungry she actually was. As she made her way to the kitchen she could hear the sizzling of something cooking and the bubbling of some liquid that was at its boiling point.

"You been busy aint you?" Fang asked bluntly looking around at the chaos the room was is. Used cutlery was dotted around and a small tower of dishes was threatening to topple at any minute. _Definitely have my work cut out for me cleaning this place_ she chuckled to herself

"It looks great 'Nille" Fang beamed throwing an arm around her sisters shoulder.

"Thanks" the red head smiled at her "I'm glad you like it"

"I can't wait!"

"So how did things go today?" Vanille questioned gently.

"Err...fine" Fang frowned looking away.

"So not so great, huh?" The younger woman asked. Fang could hear the disappointment in her voice without having to look at her.

"Hey, Fang?" Vanille said quietly as she took a tanned hand in hers. Sure the news hadn’t thrilled her, but she understood the rut her sister was stuck in and after almost a lifetime of care she was more than content to let the woman find her place in the world at her own pace.

Fang raised her eyes to meet Vanille's, ready for any punishment that was heading her way. But Vanille simply smiled and squeezed her hand.

"It's okay. Let's eat, yea?"


	5. Strangers

Fang picked another small pebble from her side and aimed it for the circular marking on the floor a few meters away. The paint was all but worn, chipped away by time, but the shape was faintly visible. The pebble landed on target with a soft click then ricocheted away. Fang sighed. She'd been here for the past two hours tucked away behind the old pillar that had saved her the day before waiting for the beautiful enigma to appear again. She stood, about to give up for the day when she heard the faint thud of distant footsteps.

Lightning lunged forward closing her eyes against the suns onslaught of blinding rays. Her foot slammed off the hardened surface of the ledge as adrenalin surged through her veins and she knew she would freeze again, she just knew it. She could feel her legs start to tense but then all of a sudden she was being dragged backwards. The motion caught her off guard and her stomach lurched as she fell the opposite way she intended, coming to a thumping jolt off the cold ground of the lot.

Lightning pushed herself up quickly to a sitting stance unsure weather her legs could take the strain of standing so suddenly.

"What are you doing" she glared at the stranger across from her. The brunette also busy sitting herself up from the floor where she had fallen.

"Me?! What about _you_?" Fang frowned back at the woman. She wasn't in the wrong for helping and she wasn't about to act like she was either. "You were the one who was about to take a dive!" She shot.

Lightning scowled and turned away unable to answer. She clambered to her feet with as much dignity as she could salvage ready to stomp away but the brunettes hand clamped firmly around her wrist and stopped her.

"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?" Fang stared the pinkette down.

Lightning knitted her brows together shooting daggers of ice straight back. However she couldn’t disguise the bloom that was creeping its way onto her cheeks. A mingling of anger and embarrassment for all to see. And as she stared back at eyes that glimmered with conviction, green like the wilderness that had taken over their present domain another feeling snaked its way in. She pushed them aside and pulled her hand out of the strangers grip before marching away.


	6. Folly

By the time Lightning came barging through the front door the sun had hidden itself. But even in her rage she knew her home well and didn't bother with the lights. As the door slammed shut behind her she was already halfway to the kitchen. She grasped a familiar bottle and undone the cap quickly bringing it to her lips. The pinkette gulped a few mouthfuls eagerly before thudding the bottle back onto the counter, twisting her face in disgust as the strong taste assaulted her mouth.

"I wish you wouldn't do that Lightning, it's not good for you" Serah scolded from the other side of the counter suddenly. "and can't you turn a light on? I feel like I’m in a horror movie here."

"Tch" Lightning complained before flicking the lights on.

"What happened?" Serah urged.

"Nothing" Lightning said as she reached for the fruit bowl and grabbed an apple. She bit down hard breaking its skin with a pop and kept her mouth busy with chewing.

"Don’t lie" Serah said flatly folding her arms in front of her. "Something must have"

The older sibling rolled her eyes with a sigh.

"Someone pissed me off that's all" she said after swallowing her food.

"Oh, I get it" Serah grinned "you met someone"

"No" The pinkette was far too enthusiastic in her response.

"Mmm hmm" the younger sister replied with amusement. "So who is she?"

"No one"

"Oh come on, you should know you can't hide your feelings from me"

Lightning stayed silent

"Sis, it's not a crime to find someone attractive or to actually like someone. You're allowed to live you know"

"Shut up"

* * *

Serah had long since vanished for the night and Lightning sat alone, her almost empty bottle on the counter top in front of her. She stared down at the glowing screen of her phone, the unsent message she’d typed some time ago staring back at her.

_Are you at the bar?_

It was almost eleven, yet she knew there was a good chance the recipient would be up. A true night owl. She didn’t want to venture out but every time she tore her eyes away from the device her thoughts wandered to the dark haired meddlesome stranger from earlier. A wave of frustration would wash over her followed by a barrage of thoughts she didn’t want to know. She needed reprieve. Lightning’s thumb tapped the send button and the message flew into the chat window. The pinkette was finishing the last of the bottle when the reply chimed through.

_Well Farron, it’s been a while._

Lightning rolled her eyes and sighed with distaste. She waited.

_I’m at home. Should I order you a cab?_

She bit her lip trying to gather her thoughts. This was wrong, she knew. It was selfish and weak but there was only one alternative. She dug her nails into her arm. And that would let Serah down, but this, this was different, right?

_Sure_


	7. Better the devil

Please remember this is rated M or a reason and while some chapters may be fine others will be darker. I'd also like to remind readers that this story contains several trigger warnings. including, but not limited to; suicide, self harm, assault, sexual scenes that blur the lines.

* * *

As the cab drove away Lightning stood in the crisp night air dawdling on the sidewalk, still unsure of herself. She could still go home, there were other ways to cope. It’s not like Serah would ever really know.

She gripped her keys tightly in her pocket so hard it felt like she was about to break the skin.

_Her_ , Lightning thought. That woman, playing some hero like she gave a damn, like it was her choice what Lightning did with her life.

_She cares, she tried to stop you, to help you_. Serah’s voice whispered in her head.

_She did it for herself._

Lightning reasoned there must have been some following involved, there was little chance the woman just happened to be there right at that moment, not with the isolation of the place. Serah had admitted it took her some time to find the route, so Lightning should have seen the brunette poking around the place at least once if she’d happened to stumble upon it on her own. Maybe she was wrong but the pinkette glanced around quickly as paranoia tugged at her non the less. She sighed heavily. She didn’t want someone invading her life, judging her, acting like they knew.

Lightning didn’t have time to ponder further as she suddenly found herself mounting the small steps of her destination. Her hand hovered above the door handle for a moment before she pushed it down and made her way inside as she’d been instructed.

Lightning was met by a faint floral scent as she entered the house and hung her coat. Lavender and some fragrance she couldn’t place. It was pleasant. Some classical score played faintly in the background of another room as she made her way knowingly to the kitchen.

“You took your time, Farron" came the amused greeting.

“Nabaat” Lightning nodded curtly.

“Polite as ever I see" the blonde smiled sarcastically. “Here" she held out a glass to her guest. “Though judging by your eyes you’ve already indulged enough.” she shrugged.

Lightning took the glass gladly choosing not to comment. She tilted it back in a long drink, finishing the beverage in one go. She barely had time to place the empty vessel on the countertop before the other woman stepped forward brazenly.

“Now, why don’t we head upstairs” a smug smile spread across Jihl's face. Lightning felt a hand tug roughly at her shirt as she was dragged the last few inches towards the blonde and her lips were smothered.

* * *

Honestly she disliked this woman. The way she treated and used people, the way she thought she was above everyone and everything was loathsome. But thanks to some drunken encounters during her low points Lightning had found that worked for her. She wanted to be used. It rid her of feelings and made her numb, made things bearable. Jihl got to feed her god complex, to control someone and Lightning got to be at the receiving end of her wrath. She felt deserving of that pain, it ripped her from her wondering mind and trapped her in the present, in the physical. She didn’t have to worry about things, because she wasn’t able to.

This way she wasn’t putting herself in danger, she wasn’t actively damaging herself or self destructing. She wasn’t letting Serah down. This was acceptable human behaviour. Or so she reasoned.

Lighting kneeled on the bed between the woman’s legs, her hand busy as the blonde’s body quivered at her touches. One of Jihls hands was clutching her backside and the other was in her hair as the pinkette concentrated on repressing her body’s response to the woman’s warm pants that tickled her ear. She wished she could move away. The woman was beautiful, for sure but Lightning had no real attraction to her. Any arousal she felt was down to her body’s sensitivity and she hated how it betrayed her. It squeezed her stomach making her nauseous.

No, the thing Lightning liked most about Jihl wasn’t her looks, definitely wasn’t her personality. It was how worthless she made her feel. Lightning couldn’t explain it but the way the blonde always seemed to dislike her, how she wouldn’t think twice about showing her distaste, it felt something akin to comfortable.

Lightning sucked in air as Jihl’s teeth found her neck and she withheld a moan.

“Na..baat” Lightning managed “we agreed...not the"

“Farron, you should know-ah fuck!” Jihl’s nails dug into her skin “In this room... what I say goes”. To prove her point the blonde grazed her teeth up Lightning’s slender neck once again.

“You’re full of it" Lightning unconsciously clenched her thighs together as a sigh escaped her lips.

“Fuck...Etro" Jihl moaned, bucking her hips against Lightning’s hand. Jihl’s fingers gripped suddenly in the pinkettes hair and pulled back with a cruel force that had Lightning gritting her teeth.

“Now put that smart mouth to better use” she ordered, then let her grip loosen.

Lightning complied and bowed her head to the blonde’s breast and began to flick her tongue across the peak.

“That’s...better" Jihl hummed leaning her head back and closing her eyes in pleasure.

_This is it_ , Lightning thought. This was what she was good for. All she was needed for. A glimpse of the brunette flashed in her head, she frowned trying to push the image away. Trying to focus on the convulsing body in front of her as Jihl reached her climax. The blonde smelled sweet, the smell of too much perfume and Lightning clung to that feebly.

When the woman had recovered she leaned forward, brushing some soft pink hair behind Lightning’s ear and gently stroked her cheek.

“That was good" the blonde gave a self satisfied grin.

Lightning felt ashamed that the action felt nice. So much so that she almost allowed herself to press into it, almost.

* * *

Jihl’s thumb rubbed the length of Lightning’s bottom lip as she tilted the woman’s head this way and that. She was knelt in front of the pinkette, her back and rear vertical so she was purposely taller.

“Good to see you haven’t changed. It’s nice to have something pretty to look at" she mused.

“Tch" Lightning rolled her eyes. A pretty face. That’s all.

She gasped out as Jihl’s hand squeezed harshly about her throat and jaw with a suddenness that had her lifting her rear from her knees in response. Lightning’s arms jerked forward from behind her out of reflex but were restrained by the tight cuffs that cut into her wrists.

“Your attitude really irritates me sometimes, Farron" Jihl let go.

Lightning scowled and looked away. Like this bitch could comment on anyone’s attitude.

“Says you" she muttered.

All at once her head was snapped to the side as the woman’s hand struck her cheek with a burning force. She grit her teeth against the sting, keeping her breath steady as tears pricked her eyes.

“I see you forgot yourself” Jihl whispered, kissing her stinging cheek softly. “let’s not let that happen again”

Lightning stayed quiet.

Jihl’s hand ghosted slowly down her chest then around under her breast. Lightning’s breath hitched as she remembered _that_ hand, the tanned hand that had grabbed her. Before she could think of anything else Jihl’s fingers were pinching the tip a little to hard and twisting. A whimper broke from Lightning’s mouth as the woman attacked her throat again, suckling intently. She shifted her attention to the feel of the metal biting into her wrists but the image of the stranger wouldn’t budge. Her green, serious eyes. The curve of soft full lips that could probably work wonders. _Shit. Shit. Shit_. Lightning chanted feverishly in her head as a dangerous heat began to rise in her.

“My, someone’s susceptible tonight” Jihl said cockily, dragging her hand lower.

“Stop" Lightning muttered, her chest already rising and falling with heavy breaths. It wasn’t supposed to feel like this.

“Farron...you know that’s not how we do things” the blonde cooed as her hand delved lower to meet the pinkettes core. Lightning moaned at the touch, her hips thrusting forward despite her protest.

“Stop" she shuddered again half heartedly.

She’d came here to forget these feelings, this fascination, this stranger. Not to fixate on them more. _Shit_.

“It doesn’t seem like you mean that" Jihl pressed harder. “But there’s always the safe word if I’m wrong".

Jihl yanked roughly on the pinkettes hair, forcing her head back and her chin up. She snaked her tongue up the fully exposed neck, making an amused sound as the woman hissed and tried to pull away from her hold.

“Nabaat, not...the"

“Awh what’s wrong. Too much pleasure, not enough pain?” she intensified her grip when she said the last word, pressing her lips to Lightning’s as the woman took a sharp inhale of air, her tongue following swiftly. “We can fix that" Jihl said lowly when she pulled away.

Lightning’s mind was a jumbled mess as she was pushed head first to the bed. Jihl leaned firmly on the back of the pinkettes neck as her free hand grazed down the woman’s back.

Damn that stranger. Damn her. She was alluring, strong, wilful. She’d followed and saved Lightning of her own accord. Why hadn’t she stayed to hear the brunette out? Why hadn’t she said thank you? Or sorry? Why should it even matter what she said or didn’t say? These thoughts weren’t supposed to be happening. They were supposed to be silenced, overridden. She didn’t want to say the word, not _that_ word. It made her feel dirty, but that was the point. So she wouldn’t say it, so she’d endure. But her heart was pounding hard in her ears and her chest was heavy. Her mind was screaming and she couldn’t control it.

“Jihl!” she growled the sound out, angry at herself.

“Well then" the blonde raised her eyebrows and removed her hands from the pinkette “that was disappointing”.


	8. Olive Branch

"Whatcha doing?" Vanille’s singsong voice floated in from the doorway.

"Sandwiches. What’s it look like?" Fang smirked.

The red head walked up to the taller woman and placed her hands on the brunettes shoulders, peeking around on tiptoes to see her sisters handy work. A few large sandwiches with lettuce and meat sat on the countertop.

"I hate to burst your bubble Fang, but I already ate" Vanille laughed.

"I hate to burst _your_ bubble kid but I never said they were for you" Fang winked.

"Hey!" Vanille gave her sister a half hearted shove and they both chuckled.

"Wait...then who _are_ they for?" Vanille raised an eyebrow as the realisation hit her. "Do you have a date? Who is she? How did you meet?" she asked excitedly, her voice growing shrill. "Why haven't you told me!" She added more sternly.

"Whoa! Hold your behemoths there" Fang shooed the younger woman away. "I don't have a date. In fact judging by her glare I'd say it was safer to say she hated me"

"Or it could mean she likes you" Vanille smirked. " _And_ you are making her food"

"Well, last time I saw her she was ready to kill me for stopping her doing something stupid" Fang shrugged.

"Yea, like what? I mean you’re not the best judge on what’s stupid and what’s not" Vanille joked.

"Erm...” Fang hesitated knowing the answer was less than ideal. “...jumping from a height?" She finished nervously.

"Oh, Fang" Vanille covered her face with a hand. "What have you gotten yourself into?"

"I couldn’t just let her now, could I?!" Fang argued.

Fang was an idiot. An impulsive, stubborn, cocky idiot. With a genuine heart of gold that Vanille couldn’t fault her for. The red head wrapped her arms around the taller woman squeezing her tightly.

"Good luck" she whispered, smiling warmly up at her "she's lucky you’re looking out for her. Just be careful"

"Don’t worry Nille" Fang roughed her red waves fondly.

* * *

As Lightning passed the last of the steps she could see the figure sat within the railings gap up ahead. In that split second she wasn't sure what made her keep running, maybe it was anger or curiosity, or maybe she just wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do now. But instead of retreating from the woman, suddenly she was halting in front of her.

"Hey there" the brunette smirked with a small wave of her hand

"You again" she panted, though the displeased tone was evident.

"What?" Fang asked in mock shock. She hadn’t expected anything less from the fiery stranger. "Not pleased to see me?" Her head lulled to the side.

_You know damn well I’m not._

Lightning could feel the heat rise in her cheeks. Her stomach was uneasy knowing that exertion wasn’t the only thing fuelling its spread.

"You blush for everyone, or is it just me?" Fang questioned, enjoying how easy it was to tease the woman.

The pinkette could fell the heat growing more intense and grit her teeth against it. This stranger was bewitching in a way that made her nervous in her actions and of herself. She didn't want to look at her anymore. At those consuming emerald eyes that looked through her without any of the judgement she expected. At that charismatic grin that looked so honest and so sure. Or at that chaotic mop atop her head that spoke of wildness and defiance. Lightning’s jaw was aching when she turned to leave.

"Hey, where're you going?" Fang asked surprised, jumping from her seat as the younger woman began to walk off.

"Away. It’s not like I can do what I came here for" the pinkette threw over her shoulder.

"I'll just be here again" the smile had disappeared from Fang’s face, giving way to a more serious expression.

Lightning halted at the threat. She believed this woman's words whole heartedly. However she had to restrain herself from pointing out the follies of this strangers plan.

"Guess we'll see"

"Or you could sit and talk it out" Fang shot taking a few steps forward.

_How could you possibly understand. Don’t pretend like you care, you just don’t want to feel guilty._

"There's nothing to say" Lightning said flatly.

"Everyone has a story" Fang shrugged. "Besides. It's not like you just found yourself here out of boredom, now is it?"

Lightning turned to face the woman again, clenching her fists. Her irritation was growing. She didn't understand why she was lingering here when nothing was keeping her. Or why this stranger was so concerned and persistent. She didn't owe the brunette an explanation or her time, yet here she was, unmoving.

"You don't even know me, why do you even care?" Lightning’s anger got the better of her and she let the words slip from her mind.

"I could if you sit down" Fang gestured towards the ledge. Her voice was soothing.

"Tch" Lightning scoffed in protest but stayed still. Her head told her she should leave but her body wouldn't move. Her mind screamed in protest as to why she was entertaining this situation but before she could listen the brunette had taken her hand gently.

She was shaking. Lightning could feel her hand jittering and she tried to stop it. Tried to blame it on the cold. She didn’t want the brunette to feel this weakness. She wanted to pull her hand away but she couldn’t.

"What have you got to loose?"

* * *

As the two sat in silence watching over the city from their post Fang’s eyes followed the path of some far off birds soaring on invisible air currents. She turned to regard her acquaintance. The woman looked lost in thought staring off at something in the distance. The scowl that was earlier masked on her face had fallen. Fang's heart beat a pace faster as she took in the woman's details. Her fair porcelain skin, the way her hair floated in the breeze and her soft subtle lips. Before she could hide her gaze the pinkette had turned to regard her with the most intense and beautiful blue eyes that she had ever seen.

"Erm...hungry?" Fang stumbled upon being caught. _Way to look like a creep Yun_.

Lightning looked away as her stomach answer for her.

"Here" Fang thrust a foil wrapped sandwhich at her after rummaging through her bag. "I'm Fang, by the way. Nice to see you again..." she deliberately left the end open to give the woman a chance to answer on her own. For a moment Fang wasn't sure she would, but slowly blue eyes met hers and a hesitant hand accepted the offering.

"Lightning"


	9. Doppelganger

Fang plopped down on the sofa next to her sister who was busy watching TV and playing with her phone.

"How was work?" She asked draping her arm over the girls slender shoulders and pulling her close. "You been home long?".

"Why? Feeling guilty?" Vanille asked with a smirk pulling at her sisters cheek. Fang shoed her hands away laughing.

"A little. Sorry I was out later than I thought I'd be"

Vanille felt a small well of guilt pool in her stomach at her sisters dispirited expression. After all she didn’t really mind Fang’s absence, she was always busy with work or friends and though the brunette wasn’t one to stay house bound she preferred her own company, even when on her wanderings. The fact she was actively engaging with someone was nice. Though Vanille had her doubts about this woman and her stability, she couldn’t deny that Fang had seemed happier recently, enthusiastic even.

"It's fine. I’ve only been back about an hour" Vanille snuggled into their embrace "does this mean you had a good time?"

"I..." Fang scratched the back of her head nervously "Actually I did. It was simple, but nice"

"Does that mean she accepted the food then?" Vanille beamed up at her.

"With a little persuasion" the brunette winked.

"Good for you Fang. You should invite her over"

"Maybe. But one step at a time, yea?"

* * *

Serah was leaning against the wall when Lightning came home, all smiles and expectations.

"Soooo...did you see her again?" She smiled.

And in that moment Lightning’s stomach turned. The smile was sly and she knew the person before her was no longer her little sister.

"I..." Lightning faltered in her surprise.

"Oh, you did" Lumina stepped close into her personal space. "Didn't you?" The malice was obvious now. Lightning looked down.

"I hope you’re not falling for her. What would we do without you?" Lumina whined in a voice full of mock distress.

"I'm not" Lightning protested glaring at the imitation of her sister.

"You're a liar" Lumina held her gaze without a flicker.

"I'm...not"

"Really?" The girl snickered. "Then what’s her name"

“...”

"Say it" Lumina pressed as Lightning stayed silent.

"I-"

"Say it!"

"Fang" Lightning managed weakly.

"Say it again" Lumina demanded.

"Fang! Her name is Fang!" Lightning screamed out. Her anger coming to the surface.

"I can practically feel your longing from here. It’s disgusting" Lumina chirped merrily.

Lightning dug her finger nails into her palms as she felt her eyes begin to glaze.

The girls face softened.

“Why not just fuck her and she can be done with you Sis?” she whispered. “You know your just a pretty face to her, right?”

The older sister refused to answer.

“I mean what else could you possibly be with all this...damage” Lumina gestured in the air. “Or is it baggage?” She raised an eyebrow.

“On second thoughts why not both?” she giggled.


	10. Sharing

Lightning came to a stop near her edge. Fang had beat her to it. The woman was sitting with her back to the lot, her legs dangling over the side.

“Hey" Fang turned, uplifting a hand. “The mysterious beauty returns” she joked.

_Just a pretty face._

Lightning shoved her hands into her pockets to give them something to do. She griped her keys securely, pressing her thumb to their end. It was just enough to keep her aggravation in check.

When her pink haired companion didn’t move or talk Fang realised she was probably pissed that she had decided to make herself at home.

“Sorry" Fang swung her legs over, back to solid ground and stood. “Didn’t think you’d mind sharing a seat after yesterday”.

_I want you to go._

The pinkette’s breathing felt strained and she had to concentrate on long inhales and exhales to stop it from turning shallow. She couldn’t focus on the brunettes face. Fang was talking but she couldn’t hear a word.

“You okay?” Fang asked worriedly. When the woman still didn’t answer she reached a hand out, lightly resting it on one of the pinkette’s shoulders. She knew it was the wrong move as soon as it happened.

“Don’t touch me!” Lightning snarled, shoving the brunette away.

“Hey!” Fang bit as her temper took over and she went to return the favour but caught herself at the last minute.

“Hey...I’m sorry” she sighed heavily. “I didn’t mean to upset you or make you feel uncomfortable”

“It’s fine” Lightning lied. Her voice blunt as she refused to look the brunette in the eyes.

“You wanna sit?” Fang cautiously moved away from both the edge and her companion.

Lightning settled on her perch as they shared an awkward silence. She glanced back over her shoulder to see Fang standing with her brows knitted together looking at the floor.

She felt guilty.

“Aren’t you coming?” it was practically a whisper, but Fang had heard. Her head whipped up instantly and she rushed to clamber back into her spot with a smile.

_Adorable_. The word popped into Lightning’s mind suddenly and she chewed on her lip to try and forget it. She grasped at the scenery around them to fill her mind with something else. Still her eyes were drawn back to the brunette, like a magnetic pull she couldn’t avoid. Fang had her eyes closed, leaning her weight back on her hands. The woman was beautiful. Her dark hair that cascaded around her face and off her shoulders complimented her complexion nicely. Her lips were pinker than Lightning had originally thought and she swallowed dryly trying to tear her eyes away.

Even though Fang’s eyes were closed she could feel the pinkette’s stare. Though she was tempted to sneak a peak and likely get the woman blushing again she thought better of it. Deciding to let Lightning do as she pleased uninterrupted, it wasn’t a bad thing after all.


	11. Alone

Lightning splashed the cold water to her face hoping it would shock her enough to stop Lumina’s torments from echoing in her head. The water dripped from her nose and chin in heavy droplets and she tried to concentrate on the sound as they hit the sink. She was clutching the fixture so firmly in her effort her fingers were whitening. But it made no use. They shuffled, playing over and over. Lightning shifted her gaze to the mirrored cabinet in front of her. She looked tired.

_Just a pretty face._

With a shaking hand she retrieved a small razor blade that was tucked away on the cabinets shelving. She pressed it to her cheek, hand trembling as she fought on what to do. She’d never caused such a visible injury. She wasn’t stupid, she knew what people couldn’t see they couldn’t question. Knew just the right places she could use to keep things secret. But...

_Beautiful_ Fang’s voice broke through.

She squeezed her eyes shut trying to steady her hand but still she couldn’t do it. With a growl she moved the blade to her arm. Past scares were barely visible, nothing but faint silvery lines. She hated it, she missed the angry red scratches. It sounded insane even to her, but they were like badges she’d earned and now they were gone. Her eyes were blurry as she tried to make her hand move, but it was like someone was holding it still, keeping it in place.

She screamed in anger, launching the blade across the room. It bounced off the wall before landing on the floor and Lightning joined it. Pounding on the ground in frustration at her inability. No one was here except her so her anger at least could find release.

* * *

Fang walked into her room and closed the door behind her, deciding it was more comfortable than the living room. Vanille had text her about working late on her way back home so it seemed a good a plan as any. She bounced onto her bed, leaning over to place her phone in its docking station and putting it on shuffle. She relaxed back onto the bed with a sigh, hands behind her head leisurely with one leg bent up as the other bobbed on top of it to the rhythm of the music.

She smiled to herself remembering the days victory. Yea it had started just as rocky as usual, but Lightning had spoken to her, not an accusation or an insult but an actual offering. She had been nice in a round about sort of way and Fang wasn’t about to split hairs about it.

_She was taking a good long look too_ Fang reminded herself gleefully. Maybe there was something there. She bit her lower lip. The woman sure was beautiful and intriguing. And the most interesting bit of all was the pinkettes slight hesitance when leaving. Hardly noticeable, but still there.

Fang glanced at her phone, she had the sudden urge to be able to contact the woman but with a sigh of disappointment realised that she couldn’t. Did Lightning even have a phone? Maybe she’d chance finding out tomorrow. Maybe the pinkette would even give out her number.

_That’d be real nice._ Fang smirked to herself.


	12. Bad Weather

Fang awoke the next morning to the sound of rain beating off her window. The sky was dark and grey for as far as she could see, refusing to let even the smallest of sun rays shine through. It didn’t seem like it was going to let up at all today. The bad weather didn’t deter Fang though, in fact it gave her an idea. She quietly rummaged around the place being careful not to wake Vanille who was no doubt resting in her room after a long night. Fang shoved the necessary things into her backpack and took it to the living room so as not to forget it later.

It was still fairly early when she had finished so she decided to take a shower and spend the rest of the morning watching TV with the volume down low.

Fang knew her sister would be stirring soon so she set about making the younger woman’s favourite breakfast even though it was fast approaching lunchtime. She knew Vanille wouldn’t give a flans ass as soon as she set her eyes on a stack of sweet waffles dripping in honey. Fang scrunched her face at the thought, it wasn’t her preference but the red head deserved all the waffles she could eat.

Fang swore that the younger woman was navigating on scent alone as she shuffled her way into the kitchen. Her eyes looked practically closed and her hair was flowing over her shoulders in loose waves void of any ties.

“Mornin Dr Dia" The brunette announced loudly for added entertainment.

“Fang...too loud. And not a doctor” Vanille yawned rubbing her eyes.

“Look what I got" The older woman sang mischievously.

“Wha-you did waffles?!” Vanille hurried to the counter to inspect the plate. There were three waffles stacked on one another with a barrage of berries and honey sprinkled all over. She took a deep breath in through her nose and her mouth immediately began to water.

“Thank you!” she chirped before digging in with the knife and fork her sister had placed plate side ready for her.

“Not a problem” Fang smiled “hope you don’t mind but I packed two for later” she said taking a bite of her omelette.

Vanille shook her head, still chewing.

“Haven’t you already had breakfast?” she questioned once she had swallowed.

“Cereal this morning. Omelette for lunch seemed pretty acceptable” the brunette shrugged shoving the last piece into her mouth.

The two chatted idly while Vanille finished her food and Fang went about cleaning the dishes.

“Okay” Fang stretched when she was finished. “I’m heading out” she slung an arm around her sisters shoulders. “see you tonight?”

“Yep. I got a nice movie for us to watch” Vanille smiled happily.

“You got it kid" the older sister chuckled hoping it was a good one. She headed for the door, turning to wave.

“Ugh, Fang?” Vanille put her hands on her hips.

“Yea?”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” the red head smiled.

Fang faltered in confusion before the realisation hit her and with a laugh trotted back in hurriedly to grab her backpack.

“Nice one” she said thankfully. Slapping her sisters shoulder in appreciation on the way back out.

“Ciao!"


	13. Silver Lining

Lightning walked up to the carpark, her hood pulled up to shield her from the rain.

_She won’t be here_ the pinkette assured herself. Not in this. She simply wasn’t worth it.

Her clothes clung uncomfortably to her skin and she ran her route with vigour in a frivolous attempt to shift the feeling.

When she first broke onto the lot and the railings gap looked empty she thought herself right. But she came to a skidding halt not a second later when she saw the brunette sitting next to one of the worn concrete pillars.

“What a day, huh?” Fang smirked pulling herself up.

Lightning was speechless in her surprise. She stood still unable to answer. This woman was insane.

“Lucky this place has a roof, or part of one. You look drenched”

“...Yea" was the best Lightning could do as she wiped at her face, her hair dripping new droplets back onto her cheeks.

“You’ll get sick if you stay like that” Fang mumbled as she was rummaging in her bag. A small towel came flying at Lightning’s face suddenly and she swiped it before it hit. Using it to rub at her face and hair.

“You should take your clothes off” Fangs eyes grew wide as she realised how her words came out. “I-I mean you should erm take those wet things off" she fumbled, her face a shade redder.

The corners of Lightning’s mouth were tugging up at the brunettes embarrassment before she could stop it. She knew Fang had caught her when her emerald eyes suddenly fixed on her and a soft smile graced the woman’s lips.

“I brought a hoody" Fang held out the garment. “Promise I won’t peek” she added averting her eyes.

Lightning didn’t understand this woman at all. She took the hoody hesitantly.

“...thanks"

“welcome" Fang answered turning around. Lightning could tell by her voice she was smiling as she eyed the back of the brunettes head. It took her a few moments but she dropped the dry jacket to the floor as she peeled the damp layers from herself. She used the towel to dry her stomach and shoulders before slipping the hoody on. It felt strange only wearing a bra under it, but it felt pleasantly soft and warm against her skin. Her leggings were damp but with their thinness wouldn’t take long to dry.

True to her word Fang never budged and Lightning found herself fighting a smile again.

_You’re a liar_ Lumina whispered.

“Thanks” Lightning muttered to let the taller woman know she was finished.

“Looks good on you" Fang smiled then plopped herself back near the pillar. She rummaged in her bag again and pulled out a small plastic food box. “hungry?”

Lightning felt warm, not just from the dry garment or the small blush playing on her cheeks. But inwardly.

Fang had still come, even in this. Ready with all sorts of things that she’d need. She’d planned it all. The pinkette looked over the woman, noticing for the first time how damp her pants were. Though she’d had the common sense to wear a coat that looked at least water resistant.

_She looks cold_ Lightning thought painfully. How long had she been waiting?

“Sunshine?” Fang prompted.

_Sunshine?_ Her heart thumped loudly in her chest as she tried to fight away all the thoughts that were bombarding her.

_She’s cold. Suffering. Because I..._

She didn’t know why she was doing it, she shouldn’t be. Everything told her it was wrong. But her body was betraying her again as it walked wordlessly forward and placed itself on the ground next to Fang so it was huddled against her, trying to spread any warmth that it could.


	14. Scent

When Fang arrived home Vanille was still absent so she took the time to unload the various items that were stashed in her backpack to where they belonged. After finishing the brunette took her phone from her pocket to send her sister a quick message, smiling widely as she scrolled past her new contact. Fang wanted to message the pinkette to make sure she was home alright, but thought better of it as she remembered how hesitant the woman had been to give out her number. She didn’t want to risk pestering Lightning too much in fear of undoing their progress. Fang reasoned that Lightning would text if she was ready and if not, Fang had an excuse to contact her tomorrow to see what time she planned on doing her ritualistic run.

Vanille insisted she wouldn’t be long so Fang set about preparing the popcorn and various snacks ready for the movie so her sister could crash on the sofa as soon as she got home. The brunette was just placing the assortment on the coffee table when the front door swung open. The younger woman removed her coat and shoes offering a quick greeting and thanks before going to change.

“Did you decide on a movie, Nille?” Fang asked stretching her head back as she heard the woman return.

“Yep" Vanille grinned as she picked up the remote and fell to the sofa near Fang.

“...And?”

“You’ll have to wait and see” she teased.

Fang chuckled as Vanille snuggled up to her. She didn’t really care what they watched, she was just happy to be spending some time with her sister. Vanille had been living her own life for a while now and it felt nice to be able to connect this way once in a while. Fang was grateful as she squeezed her sister tightly, but she couldn’t help it as her free hand tapped idly on her phone hoping a message would appear.

* * *

The showers warm stream felt nice as Lightning stood under it. She felt exhausted and the heat was helping her muscles relax. The pinkettes thoughts drifted to Fang and she wondered if the woman was warm right now too and if she’d bother to message. Part of Lightning was angry that she’d been wrong. Things would be simpler if Fang had stopped showing up. When she was around things didn’t make sense. The pinkettes heart thudded strongly in her chest as she recalled their closeness. The thoughtfulness the brunette had shown. Lightning could feel the remnants of something she hadn’t felt for a long time. The ghost of comfort, happiness even. And yet a resentful shadow gripped at her mind. Why now did someone like this have to appear. It was cruel. What did Fang want that made her so persistent? Maybe Lumina was right, maybe she was just a conquest. Maybe Fang was bored and this was a way to fill her days. More probably she just felt guilty, obliged to show up so she could have a clean conscience.

_Just a burden_ she growled to herself. _It’s pathetic_. Lightning’s brows furrowed. _It’s all a lie. The concern, the effort. It was all just..._

Her hand reached out and she twisted the temperature dial up. It took a few moments but Lightning could feel the water heat up. What started as an uncomfortable heat grew rapidly into a searing downpour. Her body jerked reflexively to avoid the pain, but she gripped the shower curtain in an effort to still it. Her defiant hiss erupted into a pained cry as the scorching droplets hailed down on her. They burnt her scalp, they burned her back. Where ever they fell they burned. They burned so much. The curtain ripped from its rings as she clutched it tightly and the tears streamed down her face as she reached her threshold.

_You deserve this!_

Lightning sat on the tubs edge as her skin dried in the air, her breathing ragged. It was red and too sore to pat dry just yet and the cooler air helped with the tight tingling sensation.

_Serah._ She pleaded inwardly unable to use her voice.

Her breathing hitched as the tears came again. There was nothing she could do. Everything around her, everything that had happened, it was all her fault.

Her eyes were sore as she emerged from her bathroom, her head aching. Lightning carefully pulled on some underwear before her gazed landed on the bed where Fang’s hoody was still piled. The pinkette sat on the bed quietly. After a moment she allowed her hand to reach out and run over the fabric tentatively before pulling it onto her lap. There was something comforting about the garment that Lightning couldn’t fathom. Her skin was still sensitive but she knew the night would get colder soon enough. She carefully pulled the hoody over her head, wincing as the fabric trailed down her back.

Lightning curled up into a ball on the bed, closing her eyes against the nagging pain behind them. After a while she could feel her body letting go of its tensions, her grip on consciousness loosening.

“You’re a really bad liar, Sis" Lumina came in quietly, lying down on the bed next to her. “You’re going to get hurt”

“Hmm?” Lightning questioned. She was too relaxed to feel the weight of Lumina’s words.

“She’ll get sick of you one day. You’re too used, to broken. You’d never be enough to make her happy" the girls voice was soft.

“I don’t need her” Lightning mumbled.

“You promised us, Light"

“I know”

Lightning could feel herself drifting, her breathing was slow and deep and her body felt weightless. The hoody felt soft against her skin.

_It smells of her._


End file.
